Notes from Two Small Islands

It's nearly four months to the day since we arrived in New Zealand, and seven since we waved goodbye to all of our friends and family in the UK (and those who'd come to visit from outside the UK for the wedding!)

Along the lines of Bill Bryson's "Notes from a Small Island", I thought it about time that I share my own thoughts about two small islands, roughly 13,000 miles round the world from the UK. Here's a few observations:

• I get A LOT of stick for drinking tea at work, or insisting on making a cuppa before going into a meeting. Mostly a long the lines of BLADDY TEA DRUNKUN PUMMES (literal translation from Kiwi into English of "Gosh, you British folk do partake in a lot of tea drinking". The funny thing is that Kiwis drink on average about 20 cups of super strength, freshly ground coffee every day. They turn their noses up at instant coffee. They actually have Drive-Thru coffee stalls at the side of the road where you don't even have to get out of your car for your fix. But I'm the cliche!

• On that note, they also have Drive-Thru Liquor Stalls (off-licenses to you and I). I still can't make my mind up about this, must try one some time...

• NZ TV is pretty dire most of the time, apart from a few gems (one gem a night is the norm, across the 9 terrestrial channels). The best bit is when a film is out that has an actor who is a kiwi in it, or is married to a kiwi, or can point out NZ on a map. That is a seriously big deal according to the adverts! Use that to put into context the new Hobbit film which was filmed here. I'm pretty sure the NZ PR machine is going to give itself a hernia.

• Houses here are way bigger in comparison to the houses back home. But they're not houses... A flat is a house according to the local lingo. Bungalows are also way more common than back home, and the richest, trendiest also live in bungalows! The half acre plot is really the standard, everyone likes a big garden. Interestingly, kiwis haven't linked this to how their cities are sprawling bigger and bigger... Come on guys, make the link!

• You're never more than an hour from the beach, some beautiful hills to go tramping in or some other fantastic area to explore. The countryside is beautiful, and these guys really make the most of it. And have a huge amount of patriotic pride in it. It's why Sarah and I have got so into our sport while we've been here - the country is just so beautiful it has to be explored.

• The obsessions with the All Blacks is HUGE! Hospital wards and management offices are adorned with flags. What's great is that sport over here is not just for the men, women's sports are still in second place but you'll actually see them broadcast during prime-time. They adore their sporting heroes, form the Black Sticks (female hockey) through to their female track and field competitors. What's a bit of a shame is that they're all sell-outs! You'll regularly see an All Black endorsing razors, an All White (football) getting behind a new brand of olive oil, a Black Sticks flogging the new range of Tena Lady, a Tall Black (basketball player) drinking some lager, or perhaps an Ice Black (ice hockey!) wanting to flog you some flights to Fiji.

• They like the national symbol of a fern. Did you notice that in the above? NZ Rail, NZ Roads, everyone uses it... See if you can guess these sports: Black Caps and Black Cocks!

• A huge proportion of car registration plates (rego's - they'll shorten anything and everything, including the All Blacks to ABs, Coronation St (yep) to Coro) are personalised, I guess because there are so few people here compared to the UK's car population. So you'll frequently see plates like "ABFAN", "PLAYA", "LMFAO" and the likes... love it! 

• On the subject of language, the kiwi accent is gold. From sometimes being brutally efficient, to extremely cutting, through to cute and then to just downright confusing... Every day I hear a...
• Sweet as Bro!
• Ah, good on ya...
• Bugger!
• Ah yerrr... heaps!
• Catcha! (good bye)
• And my favourite... She'll be right!

• Things here are just that little bit easier. In our first week we walked into the bank with a UK driving license, a printed out email from our new landlord (from his very official hotmail account). 30 minutes later we walked out with an actual bank account card that we could use straight away. That would have taken 50 forms, lots of ID and a two week wait in the UK.

• Every single newsagent (they call 'em a Dairy) has a hot cabinet with pies in it. These aren't the best quality NZ pies, but it makes you wonder why in the UK we're obsessed with Ginster's Cornish Pasties straight out of the fridge... Great comfort food!

• Judging by the TV adverts, bladder incontinence is a big problem here. Not sure why. 

• And finally, kids go to school barefoot. They stay barefoot at school. They go home, they play barefoot. Why? I don't know. Parents seem to be hugely proud of this fact. We're struggling to get it!

Bill Bryson's book delves into the British national psyche, plots hundreds of journeys and encounters with Brits. But he openly still struggles to tell you why he likes it, apart form the sudden surges of fondness for such an intriguing and beautiful place as the UK. 

I'm nowhere near as eloquent as him, but hope through what we put on this blog and the photos that usually accompany these words, you'll understand and enjoy the reasons we're out here and why we're taking as much pleasure in being here as we are.

We do miss home, and look forward to coming back when the time comes. It's funny to think of how much of a high we left England on... After having such a fun time at the wedding with all of the people we enjoy spending time with in one fun and cheese-filled room, it's strange to think we haven't seen those people since. A big reunion when we get back is in order, maybe at The Blue Lion again - complete with band and great beer! And a limbo competition rematch?!