India has a committee for everything, an executive, a board, a co-operation, a local representative, union and advocacy forum. And that comes from an ex-NHS manager - things must be management heavy. But, without doubt, there is a Ministry of Silly Walks which is a subdivision of border closing ceremonies.
We heard they've been doing overtime lately and managed to approve and triple-rubber-stamp some new moves... so we headed out to the Indo-Pakistani border crossing. It was crazy from the beginning - thousands of Indian tourists (and a few foreigners) buzzing out of buses and walking to the border in 43degC heat. Flags and Indian hats being offered to us at every turn. Multiple checkpoints, soldiers, razor wire and horses.
We made it into the grandstand area (!) and soon realised what a spectator sport it was. The Indian stands probably hold about 5,000 people and were jam packed, with people peering over gates and fences behind. Bhangra music starts, followed by some Bollywood hits, and the crowd really got going. The Indian chants start, directed over the border to the relatively empty Pakistani stands. Some chants are returned. The crowd shouts over them and waves the flags higher - take that, Pakistan! The MC arrives, handing out big flags for runners to surge at the gates and back. The Bhangra gets cranked up - women fill the parade ground and Bollywood boogie their bums off.
Finally the heroes turn up. Indian giants (all as tall as me, which is quite a rare sight on these streets). Immaculately groomed with cockerel hats, razor sharp trouser creases and John Cleese moustaches. The Ministry has done them proud.
They puff out their chests, grimace, and march (quicker than Usain Bolt can sprint) to the gates. Slamming them open, high kicking the air and grimacing at their Pakistani counterparts. A handshake occurs - both sustain wrist injuries. They grimace, high step and march/skip/sprint back to their friends. What follows just gets weirder.
The MC gets the crowd into a frenzied chant, before five soldiers take it in turns to look a bit nervous, puff out their chests, high kick and tear-arse up to the border line. Eventually the flags are taken down, grimaces and handshakes are exchanged then the gates are slammmed shut.
And now the border is closed for the night. Same again tomorrow. And the day after that. This place is loveable, but odd.
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| The Indian cheerleading squad |
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| Slightly sparser Pakistani stands (with obscene dancing to annoy Indians!) |
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| Kids queued up to run at the border line |
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| Trying to keep the peace in a frenzied crowd |
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| Jai Ho! Bollywood smash hits always get the crowd going |
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| The ceremonial soldiers arrive. Ladies first. |
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| The Ministry's new hat, acting as a rudder during quick step marching |
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| Opening the gates |
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| The men limbering up |
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| Would not want to get between these boys! |
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| Grr. Angry man wants to scare some Pakistani soldiers. |
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| And the sun sets as the flags are lowered. Everyone's friends. |
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